Sass N Ass Down Under

You ready for some meta-sass realness? I wasn't. But here it is. 

I was looking for a clip, any clip, of this other Ministry of Sound video I want to review, and I came across this totally endearing video of four girls, 2 tween + 2 passing-for-18, doing the Deanne Berry classic "Pump It Up: Ultimate Dance Workout." They sound Australian, so let's just say they're Australian. And what they have created is something of a rarity, even for the Internet: a video of people working out to a workout video. Boom. (There are lots of videos of people doing the P90X series, but I consider those separate from this, because P90X actively encourages user imitation videos. It's all part of their bag, plus it gives them a trove of content to mine for infomercials. Shrewd move, P90X.)

This, though, is pure. These girls are just OWNING this whole "girls' night" (and/or babysitting?) workout party in a way that makes me want to melt with them. I, too, understand the need for a bit of theatricality and lady-friend compatriots. My friends and I had weekly "Sass N Ass" workout-video sessions for a hot minute, and I've been saved many times from the clutches of end-of-the-workday entropy by a friend down for buddy-buddy fit time. 

And the costumes! Sometimes, in order to move one's ponderous ass around at high bpm, you need that extra boost that only a fierce workoutfit can bring. The two younger girls on the right look age-appropriate in their little pleated skirts and awkward stances, while the Fast Times hot girls on the left are turning out the exact look Deanne and her dancers sport in the real video. That, my friends, is what's up. 

And they filmed it all and stuck it up on the internet! With an adorable DIY title card for each segment, even! 

Women are programmed to be hypercritical of their bodies, and women's gyms often market male-free or even mirror-free environments (::cough cough:: Curves) to create a safe space free of judgment -- ostensibly from others, but really from one's self. These Aussie lasses don't. give. a. what. They probably finished their workout, got cleaned up, ordered a pizza, watched their shits-n-giggles video and were like, omg we're such dorks but we're also awesome? so why the hell not, let's show it to the WORLD! 

And now I'm blogging about it. Once they find this and we get in touch and become pen pals and make a collaborative bi-hemispheral meta-sass video together, the circle will be complete and another internet angel will get its wings. 

It's the most wonderful time of the year

So I'm maybe the only person in the United States who's excited about this, but THE NEW 'PUMP IT UP' IS ALMOST OUT! Check out the preview above.

It's glaringly (and probably creepily) obvious to anyone who's read this blog that I am a Big Fan of Ministry of Sound's "Pump It Up" series. I explained why, in detail, in this post. But to summarize:

- They're long (70-90 minutes), thorough and challenging. No half-assey "20-Minute Solutions!"

- They're entertaining and varied, drawing from dance, aerobics, kickboxing and pilates. To quote myself, again from that post I linked to above: "The workouts are basically structured, aerobicized sassy-dancing in a fantasyland of bright lights and hot bodies wearing impossible outfits."

- They use real music, which is like omgthankyouwhycan'tmorevideosdothis. Even if you don't like LMFAO's "Party rockin in the house tonight" song (I don't, but I can tolerate it) or club music in general, I maintain it's still better than 90% of the crappy muzak used in other videos.

- They are built for a lengthy shelf life. They better be, since they only release one of these suckers a year. Instead of spending gobs of time explaining each move and, in effect, pandering to the audience, the videos keep a swift, fluid pace. It's assumed that you may need to press pause a couple time on your first or second go-round to get the hang of some of the dancier steps, but then once you get it, you don't have to slow down again!

The 2012 installment features the debut of a new instructor, neither Deanne nor Gareth nor that annoying girl from the older ones! (I think I'll have to write about Gareth for my next post; he's too good to keep away from you any longer.) Two of this year's dancers were in prior videos and.... now I'm really starting to sound psychotic. Ok, stopping here! Here's a longer behind-the-scenes preview: