Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Diaper dancing or Kundalini cardio? You decide.

Here, for your consideration, is "Dance the Chakras Yoga Workout." It's presented by the yogini duo Ana Brett and Ravi Singh, who seem to have quite a following, if reviews and YouTube comments are any indication. (Full disclosure: I have not done this entire video, only marveled at and done the moves in a couple trailers.) 

I learned of this video's existence back when I was in full Hemalayaa thrall, so I was open to a certain amount of metaphysical mysticism if it complemented and didn't distract from a good workout. I have eagerly followed instructions to "paint the world with love!" while doing a side hamstring stretch. I've visualized negative energy escaping from my pores in a yoga class. (I imagined it looked like this.)

Anyway. I think dancing the chakras is simply beyond my new age threshold. Examine the evidence: 

First off, girlfriend's wearing a diaper. Or boy shorts that strongly resemble a diaper. Combined with the tank top, stringy hair and chicken legs, Ana cuts the figure of a 6-year-old on Saturday morning on a Go-Gurt bender.

The music is generic, decent yoga-beat; the yoga moves look fine; the dance moves aren't particularly fresh, although the monster-stomp leg kick is fun in a cartoony way; the set design is minimalist and cute, and I particularly liked this tiny island of pink shag carpeting surrounded by pastel blobs.

I wanted to like this. I was prepared to overlook the resemblance in dance style between Ana and Elaine Benes, and try the whole thing. What shoved me off the fence, though, was the commentary: "Connect with your power source." "Be willing to do what you decide." "Live on purpose." "Fearless focus."

I imagine these well-intentioned clichés coming out of a ticker tape machine in an endless stream, with Ravi and Ana taking turns grabbing them at random and reading them aloud into a microphone for the audio track. They're all good ideas on their own -- nobody wants to live on accident, right? -- but highly concentrated and in accompaniment with Ana's sacrum sinking and chakra shaking, it's Just Too Much.

However, I realize that one woman's JTM is another woman's OMG<3<3<3, especially when it comes to yoga and self-expression, so I definitely don't think this video is bad or worthless. It's not my bag, but from looking at some of the comments online, it's been marvelous for many others.

Says one Amazon reviewer: "I just finished doing this DVD and it's just PERFECT!!!!! What a great workout for the body and the soul.... this DVD elevates my mood like no other!!! This should get 10 stars!!!!! It's soooo much fun!!!!!!"

Another commenter who'd been doing the video for over a year said it helped her lose 20 pounds and control her anxiety.

I say, whatever works. If it resonates with you emotionally and challenges you physically, latch onto it, make it your power source (ha), and don't worry about what silly bloggers say.

As for me, until someone convinces me to give dancing the chakras another go, I'm with this Amazon commenter: "Eh. I don't think the chick in the video can dance. I feel stupid swaying and swinging my arms around with her."


  1. thas some silly shit my mama would have somethin to say about!

  2. I know! I can already see my mom giving me a withering look, a shake of the head and, "Molly, that's...stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

  3. this looks like an exercise drum circle

  4. i dunno, that victory dance is pretty fierce. i love your visualization of negative energy leaving the body. i always have a giggle at talk of "toxins leaving your bloodstream" in yoga class - i imagine my blood looking something like this pre-yoga:

  5. The timeless path of divine love is as alive and relevant today as it was in the days of the ancient sages. Yoga