Friday, May 22, 2015

Inner Thigh Gap Clarity

"Inner Thigh Gap Clarity": postmodern prog-rock band name or title of a real, creepily sunny workout hosted by a 14-year-old? Oh, you thought thigh gaps were just lulz whipped up in 2k14 by overstimulated Reddit bois with misplaced ambitions? You are mistaken. Thigh gaps are a movement—by girls, for girls—ensuring that every little lady grows up in tacit, unrelenting fear of her own body! Just ask our fresh-faced presenter, here to inspire us toward Inner Thigh Gap Clarity, because everyone knows that 10 minutes of squats and lunges can defy age, postadolescent metabolism, and the endless variety of human musculoskeletal composition!

Here's one brave Thigh Gap Warrior Princess feeling the thigh gap love:
Maddison Rose Okay so I might get hate but I really want a thigh gap. I am 13 years old and I'm very insecure about my thighs, my stomach and arms are not bad but I'm still working on them. I know I'm not "fat" I would just like to know if this really works! Thanks!

Or this lassie all hopped up on diuretics/snake oil/speed? oh god i hope not speed GIRL POWER:
Miss Montgomery I'm eating less, doing other exercises and taking diet pills AND doing this so hopefully i become a size 0 and have a thigh gap. Thank you for the easy to follow video!

Inner Thigh Gap Clarity, brought to you by these assholes: "Life. Wisdom."

This comment is a true tHIn$PirAtIO—actually, I can't snark anymore. It's too sad:
M Rachel I'm 98 lbs right now and my goal is to be anywhere between 88-91 pounds. If I eat healthy and do this work out once a day (first half morning second half at night) do 200 sit ups a day and, walk a mile or two, and either do an hour and a half of jujitsu or fourty five minutes on the bike or playing just sweat will I reach my goal? It it realistic/healthy? And will exersizing so much make me look bulky and bigger and skinnier and delicate?

I kind of love the presenter girl, because she's competent but casual, unconcerned, ironically, with flawlessness in her presentation. The exercises are fine: they're squats and lunges, and nothing can take that away from them. But nothing can guarantee a thigh gap. Which is why I'm giving three cheers for Caprilover73, who is probably exactly what her user name sounds like—a righteous pseudo-New Agey 40-something, and who is going into battle against thigh gap quackery. 
Don't obsess over a thigh gap because the most of the fittest people in the world dint have them. Olympians who train every day have amazing bodies, but no thigh gap. No one looks at them and in shorts you'll still have toned and nice legs, but healthy ones too

You go with your comment-thread activism, Caprilover73. As for Psychetruth, fooey to you and your clickbait ridiculousness. Good riddance, I say!

1 comment:

  1. The flower on the set really done make a difference, though. Adds a unique ambience to the experience. On a more serious note, irritating to see such drivel (the premise of the workout, not the hostess). As you put it, having or not having a "thigh gap"--similar to a " six pack" or muscles to frighten one's neighbours--is as much about genetic luck as it is about anything.