Hippity hee-haw hoppin'

Yeah, so this was going to end up on here sometime. About a dozen different friends posted this on my Facebook page when it made the rounds of short attention spans everywhere a couple months ago. How gladdening it is to know that when my friends see White People Embarrassing Themselves in a Dated Workout Video, they think of me. #blessed

I didn't slap this up here earlier because a) I gravitate against posting things that have already gone viral -- I'm a hipster/contrarian like that, as detailed in my intrapersonal exploration of Prancercize; and b) it's just too easy. 

The bowl cut . . . 

The bicycle shorts . . . 

The moves . . . 

Although, to be fair, she was probably just trying (and failing) to capture the smoking-hot intensity of Janet Jackson in the "If" video, and haven't we all been there? 

Don't be cavalier about Janet. You will get burned.

Devoting serious blog snark to Country Hip-Hop Dancing would be like screaming at a grocery store manager about Grāpples. It was a bad idea and nobody buys them anyway, so let's just have a quick laugh and politely pretend it never happened, k? Blah blah cultural appropriation blahdeeblah -- we don't even need to go there. It's written all over the video.

However, this guy. 

I think we can all agree that he's chill and would probably drive you to the airport if you asked him.